For the World is Hollow and I have Touched the Sky
by Human Customs Still Elude Me
Summary: Let me tell you a story. A story about a young she-cat who fought hard to save the Clans. Let me tell you this tale. A tale about hardship, tears and pain. Let me give you this gift, this gift enabled her to fly. Allow me, and I will tell you this lonely Raven's story.
1. Introductions-I

Light and dark. Choices and consequences.

A corrupt leader, destroying his own Clan. Long ago, he spread his deadly taint over the four Clans, destroying hope and beating them down into submission.

But he wasn't happy.

The Warrior Code remained pure and beautiful. He needed to change that.

And so he did.

The new code is this:

1\. The elders will be fed last.

2\. The warriors will be fed first.

3\. Going against the Warrior Code will result in death.

4\. The kits must not play, that is a weakness.

5\. The apprentices must be trained one at a time.

6\. Kits must be three moons old to be apprenticed.

7\. She-cats will have tom mentors, toms will have she-cat mentors.

8\. Running away in battle will result in death.

9\. Disobeying the Clan Leader will result in death.

10\. To win a fight, you must kill.

This tragedy, this fear, bred through generations, all shatters in a young she-cat and her brother's doubt. The tales of old, though they may fade and become twisted with the accumulated exaggeration of decades, will become strong once more.

Once again, the tales of old will become the truth.

**I apologize for the short chapter. This is actually longer than the original(This is a re-write of To Regain our true Lives.) The first chapter will be longer.**


	2. Apprenticeship I-Dawn

Ravenkit lifted her head. She glanced around the cozy nursery, full of the scent of kits and milk. Warmth filled the small den, but she knew that there was snow and ice outside. She had seen it on the Warriors' pelts when they came in and begrudgingly dropped food on the ground.

"Duskflower, when will we get to eat?" Ravenkit flinched at the sound of her voice. It was squeaky and obnoxious. She knew that everyone was annoyed by it, so she kept her mouth shut most of the time.

"I don't know. Ask Crowfire." Duskflower didn't even lift her head. She kept her eyes half-closed, didn't let her younger kit lay right next to her.

"When will Lightpelt come back?" Ravenkit asked, not meeting her mother's eyes. She had always known that Duskflower didn't like her much.

"Ask Crowfire."

Ravenkit bit her lip, and turned away, hiding herself in the moss, dried grass, and feathers at the edge of the nest.

"What's going on…?" Falconkit muttered, half-asleep and yawning.

"Hush, little one, go back to sleep," Duskflower whispered, gently licking Falconkit between the ears.

Ravenkit closed her eyes and slept, oblivious to the whispers of tomorrows Apprentice ceremony. How Hailstar wanted to take in a new apprentice. And most of all, how he had already chosen.

"Let all cats old enough to win a battle gather here beneath the Highbanch for a Clan meeting!"

Ravenkit followed her brother, Falconkit, out of the nursery. At first, they were blinded by the sun on the snow, but after a moment their eyes adjusted well enough to walk around.

"Ravenkit, come forward." Hailstar said coldly. His dark eyes glinted in the light.

She strode forward, respectful, despite the whirlwind of insults she wished to fling at him.

"From this moment onward until you receive your warrior name you will be known as Ravenpaw. I will be your mentor."

She stared blankly. She knew that soon the elderly deputy would die, and someone would temporarily take his place. She also, however, knew that most leaders' apprentices' became the successor of their mentor.

_Why me? Why despicable, obnoxious, me?_

"Well?" Hailstar said. His deep voice grated in her ears.

"I am grateful of this honor you have granted me. Thank you. I hope to live up to my full potential under your skills." Ravenpaw kept her voice from shaking, somehow. Funnily enough she sounded better outside.

He smirked, cruelly satisfied. "Stand with the apprentices, _Ravenpaw._"

"Falconkit, come forward. From this moment onward until you receive your warrior name you will be known as Falconpaw. Your mentor will be Hollyspring.

Falconpaw dipped his head to Hollyspring, and stepped back, to stand beside Ravenpaw.

Ravenpaw stared blankly at the ground. Being the leader's Apprentice was a huge honor.

So why was she so terrified?

**Finally updated! Wow, this was just going through the old chapter one and editing it half to death. And yes, this story has the same title as a Star Trek episode.**


	3. Apprenticeship II-Stars

Ravenpaw stood beside Falconpaw. Soon they would learn the ways of this Clan. And in three moons, they would be assessed for their warrior ceremony.

But first came a lesson. The kits had heard about it from the apprentices, the apprentices from the Warriors, the Warrior from the Elders, and the Elders had witnessed it.

This lesson was taught only to the Leader's Apprentice. Ravenpaw knew that the Clan would be leaving soon. Out to hunt, or patrol, or to go get a bit more sleep.

Ravenpaw was barely aware of her brother leaving her. Out to learn a happy lesson, or something. As happy as it gets in the world, at least.

Hailstar stepped forward. He looked down at the small she-cat, who met his gaze calmly and carefully.

"Come on. I need to show you something."

He turned around, stalking out of camp. Ravenpaw hurried after him, glancing around the pine forest. The snow was patchier here, the trees forming a shield from the wind that dipped down into camp and blew snow around.

Ravenpaw followed Hailstar through the trees. Wind howled far overhead, the trees waving in to and fro. Snow dropped from the trees, adding random blobs of white to the dull, gray-and-brown ground, littered with dead pine needles and rotting pine cones.

Hailstar stopped just before they entered a clearing.

"This is where all ShadowClan cats are buried. The leaders are buried within the stone circle in the center. We believe it was placed there long ago by our Warrior Ancestors, a symbol of leadership, even in death." At this, he turned to face Ravenpaw. "In time, I will be buried with the bones of my predecessors. And after myself, you will become deputy, then leader, and then you too will die and your bones will lay beside your ancestors. And so, the cycle will continue, on and on until the Clans lay dead upon the ground. Until the stars fall, this cycle will continue, on and on."

Ravenpaw blinked. She could hardly believe that the lesson was different for her. In the past, it had been brutal, near-fatal wounds. So why was she different…?

Hailstar turned to face the graveyard once more. Ravenpaw realized with a jolt that there was a bare patch at Hailstar's paws, scarcely larger than his head. A battered sapling grew there.

She looked out over the clearing. Small rocks and pebbles pretty much covered all but within the circle- the mass grave of average ShadowClan cats was covered up, the stones removed to bury others, then replaced immediately after.

"Follow me. Don't step on the Commoners' graves." Hailstar started walking through the clearing, up the tiny hill. He was careful to step only on the narrow strip of bare ground. Ravenpaw followed him, realizing that in summer the stones must trample out any growth on the sides of the hill, with grass and flowers blooming everywhere else.

"This is a lesson, preformed with every other future ShadowClan leader. This is simply tradition, not part of the Warrior Code. The other Clans do not have the rule of the Leader's Apprentice becoming Leader. ShadowClan just sticks to strong tradition," Hailstar explained, stepping between the stones and into the small area at the top of the hill.

Ravenpaw shuddered. The stone circle cast a dim shadow into the small circle.

Hailstar turned around. He faced his young apprentice, looking her in the eyes. Ravenpaw stared back, careful to wipe any emotion from her face, keeping her eyes narrowed slightly, unblinking.

Hailstar snorted slightly. It took her a moment to realize he was laughing.

"Come on. This is the dull part. I should show what's interesting…"

The way he trailed off made her shudder, exactly like a cold, wet wind blowing into her face. She followed him anyway, shivering in the cold as she stepped once more into the cold woods.

"This is where we train to fight, where we train to hunt, where we execute all traitors, where we brand the exiles…"

_Wait, what? _

"Ah! Here we are."

They climbed a hill, red staining the ground and trees around them. Ravenpaw lifted her head and sniffed. She recoiled at the scent of blood and death.

Hailstar began to speak-quietly, with a kind of joyous bloodlust.

"We won this from ThunderClan a few days ago. They will not be fighting anytime soon, rest assured. They took heavy losses. They fought well, but were utterly and completely crushed. They will never again challenge ShadowClan."

Ravenpaw shivered once more. The dead grass at her feet was blood-stained. Still damp.

Hailstar sniffed the air.

"Isn't it lovely? The scent of death, the feeling of flying victory and crushing defeat. Isn't it…the most beautiful thing you've ever seen in the span of your miserable little life?"

0o0

Ravenpaw curled up in the Apprentices' den. She was by the entrance, far away from everyone else. But it wasn't the loneliness or the cold that she minded.

It was the staring. The whispering. The shock of the smallest she-cat becoming leader's apprentice. Ravenpaw couldn't stand it anymore. The suffocating feeling of being watched from half-open and tired eyes, the feeling of being judged harshly over the smallest things.

She stood up, leaving the Apprentices' den. She stepped outside, staring up at the stars. The night sky was unexpectedly bright, shining through the darkness. She smiled faintly, the snow settling around her once more.

"It's a little stifling, isn't it?"

She spun around. A pale brown-and-white tabby tom stood behind her, blue eyes kinder than she had thought possible.

"Having them stare at you, treating you like an outsider."

Ravenpaw nodded, then turned her face back to the stars.

The tom sat beside her.

"You probably don't know who I am, since you became an apprentice today and kits don't learn the Apprentices' names. I'm Birchpaw, the deputy's apprentice. And you're Ravenpaw, right? Nice to meet you."

Ravenpaw nodded faintly. "…Nice to meet you…"

Birchpaw blinked. "Oh, right. You mother doesn't have any manners. Er, no offense. Her sister's daughter doesn't either. Probably runs in the family."

Ravenpaw coughed slightly in annoyance. "Ahem."

"Sorry! I mean to say, is that they don't care. At all. You probably do."

Ravenpaw nodded, looking back up at the stars.

"It's fine, really. I don't mind being called impolite."

Ravenpaw narrowed her eyes. Something was odd about Birchpaw. She couldn't place what, though…

_It's probably nothing._


	4. Apprenticeship III-Nightfall

Three moons later, Ravenpaw looked up from the mouse she was sharing with Falconpaw as a familiar call rang out across camp.

"Let all cats strong enough to kill their own enemies gather beneath the High-Branch for a Clan meeting!"

Ravenpaw stood up, Falconpaw following after covering the half-eaten mouse with a leaf. They walked over to the back of the crowd of cats, taking their places beside Birchpaw and Streampaw.

"Today we will begin the assessment of the four apprentices of this Clan. As tradition stands, we will begin by testing their hunting abilities. Your respective mentors will explain what to do. Meeting dismissed. Return to your duties."

Ravenpaw walked over, silently regretting not asking to become Medicine Cat. Hailstar took his place beside the three average mentors-Pineheart, Roseclaw, and Hollyspring.

Er, mostly average. Pineheart was deputy.

Hailstar cleared his throat. "This will be a three-stage assessment. Each stage will have two separate stages within. The first is group hunting. Report back to camp when you have caught two pieces of prey. Go now."

Ravenpaw followed the other three out of camp. Even after she stepped into the cool depths of the pine forest she still felt the stinging gaze of Hailstar, following her out into the woods to see how she did.

"So…what do we do?"

Ravenpaw looked up at the sound of Streampaw's voice. The quartet of nervous apprentices now stood still in a place familiar to Ravenpaw, but not the other three.

The graveyard stood to her left.

"Birchpaw, how about you scout ahead for a mouse nest or something?" Ravenpaw suggested quietly. Birchpaw nodded and walked off.

"Streampaw, Falconpaw, follow him on foot. When he finds prey, split up and rush at it from different directions. I'll attack from above. Sound good?"

Falconpaw and Streampaw nodded, following her unconfident orders.

Ravenpaw leaped into a tree, sticking to the lower branches as she struggled to jump from tree to tree. Once, she thought she saw Hailstar out of the corner of her eye. But when she turned all she saw was a trembling branch.

She glanced down again at the sound of a panicked squawk. The three below her had cornered a crow. It flapped its wings once, twice, it lifted off the ground-

_Thud._

Ravenpaw snapped the bird's neck neatly as she jumped from the tree.

0o0

"A crow and a rabbit. Not bad."

The four apprentices stood before their mentors, the two pieces of prey at their paws. They focused on their paws, unwilling to look up at their judgmental mentors.

Hailstar cleared his throat. "Next is solo hunting. Report back when you have caught one piece of prey."

0o0

"Aand…Gotcha!"

Ravenpaw lunged, trapping a large frog under her paws. She slid her claws out, killing it instantly. She picked it up, turning and walking back to camp.

Upon arrival, she realized she was the last one back. Come to think of it, she had chased that thing right up to the RiverClan border.

"You are last." Hailstar said disapprovingly.

Ravenpaw dropped the frog. "Well, Yeah. I chased this thing all over the place. What unrealistic expectations do you seriously have for cats with short legs?"

Immediately, everyone nearby stopped what they were doing and stared at her. No wonder-no one _ever _mouthed off to the leader like that.

Hailstar looked like he was choking on his words. At last he managed to cough out the monotone words of every assessment ever.

"Report to the Prison entrance immediately."

At this, the apprentices shivered slightly before walking off to the Prison. The Prison was a set of tunnels-the ways outside had long since caved in, leaving one entrance clear with a small set of tunnels, barely taking up more space than camp. The Prisoners-exiles, assassins, those who broke the warrior code, trespassing rogues, loners and kittypets-were all crammed inside tiny tunnels that flooded often. Warrior assessments kept the population of Prisoners in check.

The well beaten path to the entrance-mere mouse-lengths away from the Outside Territories, owned by no Clan-lead them to a large hole in a boulder. Fireclaw and Lightpelt flanked the entrance. Occasionally the sound of hissing came through a screen of brambles blocking the way outside showed the anger of the Prisoners.

"Here for the Assessment, are you? Second stage, right? Well, you're in luck. Hollyspring found a nice and deep pit outside Clan territory. We'll be transferring the prisoners any time now. The bramble, stone, and stick barriers are in place. Oh, here they come!"

Hailstar, Pineheart, Hollyspring, and Roseclaw came single-file up the path, all looking like they wanted to claw someone.

Ravenpaw gulped.

The four proceeded up the path until they reached the Prison. They fanned out, Hollyspring going up to talk to the Guards. The Guards were assigned Warriors, trained to be loyal playthings.

"Apprentices, we have decided to have you help escort the Prisoners to the new Prison. It will be assessed as usual."

Hailstar gazed coldly at Ravenpaw for a second, before turning away and instructing Hollyspring to go request backup-just in case. Ravenpaw dared to look up for a moment. Hailstar's back was turned to the apprentices for the moment.

"Hey, Ravenpaw, I really hope I get assigned to the Guards. Ooh, maybe you'll be one of the prey-specific Warriors. Wait, your mentor…you'll probably be in the special training for the higher-ups. Like how Hailstar must have been, and Pineheart, and Barkfeather…" Streampaw leaned in, her quiet and swift voice catching Ravenpaw by surprise.

"Um…right," Ravenpaw responded uncertainly. She glanced around, trying to avoid talking to the slim gray she-cat.

"Maybe, you'll even pass. Do you know how many average cats have been accepted? They all either drop out or die. There were even three candidates for Medicine Cat. But only Sparrowpaw survived. They say it's a death trap. All those training sessions for what you're going to be…if you're accepted into the special training, then maybe you'll get out of that place by deceit. I know it's in you…"

Ravenpaw twitched, turning away as Hailstar called her name. Everyone knew that special training was dangerous-Half dropped out. Almost half died. Three passed in each Era. Ravenpaw hoped desperately to be a drop-out. Or if she tried her hardest, she could get through fast and be a normal warrior with a threat hanging over her head. She just didn't know…

"Ravenpaw."

She flinched, looking up at her mentor. "…Yes?"

He looked annoyed at her shaking voice. "You will be bringing up the rear. Report anything suspicious about the prisoners."

"Yes sir."

Hailstar snorted angrily and turned away. Ravenpaw stared after him for a moment before turning away and watching nine cats take their places along a steady stream of prisoners. She was suddenly struck by how thin they were. Some of them were too weak, ill or old to walk on their own and had to rely on others. As she took her place at the end of the line, a tiny white she-cat, clearly no older than five moons stumbled along at the very end of the line, muttering faintly under her breath about the light. No wonder. There were only tiny holes in the ceiling of the tunnels.

"..Are you alright?" Ravenpaw said quietly stepping up next to the kit. The she-kit looked up, surprised, and then looked away, biting her lip. Ravenpaw looked down in concern, then stepped back to her place at the end of the line.

Ravenpaw stared at the ground the rest of the way. The bright sun, the melting patches of snow, the pine needles beneath her feet, the voices of her comrades…she was unaware, even, of the angered looks directed her way from Prisoners, the warriors, even her fellow apprentices…

The only one not annoyed by her actions was her brother, Falconpaw. He looked over his shoulder, concerned for the wellbeing of his sister.

0o0

Ravenpaw watched glumly from the shadows as the line of prisoners streamed down the narrow path into the massive pit in the ground. The sides were too steep to climb, and the path would be easily blocked by brambles, stones and branches.

It was the perfect Prison.

The white she-cat glanced over her shoulder as she descended to her new Prison.

_I have to become leader. I must save this she-cat. There isn't any other way…_

0o0

**In case you're wondering, Falconwing is minor because in the original book he wasn't in the first part. I'm keeping this as true to the first one as possible. And yes, there will be a sequel. And yes, it will also be named after a Star Trek episode. /coughcoughcityontheedgeofforevercoughcough/**

**Stay tuned for more! It probably won't take three million years!**


	5. Apprenticeship IV-Broken

Ravenpaw numbly followed her clanmates back to camp. She stared blankly at the ground, her mind blank, nodding in agreement to everything Streampaw talked about. She didn't care, but she listened anyway. The few words she spoke were to explain things to Hailstar. She remembered dimly explaining why she wasn't glad that the Prisoners would be trapped, only now with the sky to taunt them. It wasn't what he actually said, but she could see the reason behind his words.

At some point she got to camp. She started paying attention, started noticing things again. She wiped her face of emotion, listening to the next stage. Fighting. First was a group kill. Then one-on-one.

0o0

Ravenpaw stood silently in a clearing. She stood right next to Falconpaw, hoping that she wouldn't play a major role in the fight. Deep down she knew this was pointless. Useless. Hollyspring shoved a strong gray tom into the clearing. He was unconscious. Ravenpaw had a feeling that they had used poppy seeds to keep him from going on a rampage. He certainly looked capable.

He started to stir. Two strong warriors flanked the tom, eyeing him suspiciously.

The tom stood up. His eyes darted from side to side; clearly knowing what was about to happen as his guards left.

There was a tense moment of silence. Ravenpaw took a step forward, taking in every detail. The bright red scar on his neck was a weak point. He favored his front left leg slightly. It would be risky, but Ravenpaw could take out his leg pretty easily.

"I'll show you what ThunderClan is capable of!" The tom lunged, yowling.

Ravenpaw ducked underneath him. She noted another scar on his chest; faint, but still a weak point. She spun around. "Fan out!" She ordered, darting around to in front of him.

He batted her aside like a leaf, instead going after Falconpaw. Streampaw lunged in front of him, but she too was thrown to the side.

"I have no need to kill she-cats. All of them are harmless little flowers." He grinned, his teeth catching the light. "Toms, however, are strong. I will kill them, for my honor and my Clan!"

Ravenpaw narrowed her eyes in anger. She shoved Birchpaw aside, knowing that her frail friend would be killed in moments. She knocked the ThunderClan tom down easily, clawing his throat out while pinning him down.

"Looks like this weak little flower just sent you to the Dark Forest." He died hearing those deadly words. Her voice was barely more than a whisper, flat and emotionless, but anger swelled up inside of her, a fire that would spread all too easily through the Clan.

She stepped off the dead tom, flicking her paw to get the blood off her claws.

0o0

Falconpaw watched his sister kill the tom. He heard the blank words. He saw the fire in her eyes. He saw the concern clear in Hailstar's eyes when he emerged from the bushes surrounding them.

Falconpaw stared at the ground. His sister, who had originally been a plaything of the leadership trio, who used to have the personality of a damp feather…she had broken the cycle of monotone days, the endlessly repeating the cycle.

"Falconpaw, come on. We're to be assigned a rogue to track down and kill."

He looked up as Streampaw called his name. The fear in her eyes reflected his own.

0o0

Ravenpaw sat silently beside Birchpaw. He was kind, understanding of her anger. Unlike Falconpaw and Streampaw, who had practically begged her not to keep up this tireless anger. She had no idea what had happened to the frail little she-cat who obeyed every order. It was before the little white she-cat. So when had she…?

"Ravenpaw, Falconpaw is coming back from his assessment."

She looked up. Her brother limped into camp. His leg was bleeding pretty badly, Hollyspring supporting him. She stood up, walking swiftly to his side.

"I'll support him, Hollyspring," Ravenpaw said quietly. "What happened?"

"…I barely won. Really, I think she let me win. Hollyspring was moments away from intervening," Falconpaw gasped.

Ravenpaw nodded. "You won. You survived. You'll pass and you won't be the laughingstock of the entire Clan."

Falconpaw looked at her. It was painfully obvious how confused he was. "Ravenpaw…when did you get like this?"

Ravenpaw blinked; her face blank and emotionless.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I've never changed."

0o0 

Streampaw returned, blood coating her front legs. Ravenpaw heard her comment on how her little sister would freak out.

Birchpaw went next. When he returned, he was unconscious, draped over Pineheart's back. Ravenpaw guessed he had failed the test. Her mild concern was swiftly crushed by Hailstar calling her name, describing the she-cat she would fight. He said she was a fitting match. She had doubts.

0o0

Ravenpaw caught sight of a pale gray she-cat sitting beside a stream, her back turned to Ravenpaw. The rogue's impeccable fur shone in the dim sunlight. The she-cat hadn't noticed her yet. With any luck, Ravenpaw could take her in one blow…

"What are you waiting for? Do it. It's not like I have anyone to live for anymore. My Clan hates me. You don't know who I am, do you?"

Ravenpaw shook her head. The she-cat turned around. Ravenpaw took a step back as she saw the she-cat's face.

Hauntingly familiar green eyes met hers. She couldn't place what was so familiar about the rogue. But somehow, she felt she had met her before…

Ravenpaw lunged, pinning the she-cat down.

Sunlight shone through the clouds, illuminating the rogue's face.

"Who are you?" Ravenpaw asked, staring into those clear green eyes. She knew she was being watched, but she didn't care anymore.

The she-cat laughed quietly.

"Oh, just an exile. I remember when you were born. We thought you would die."

Ravenpaw loosened her hold on the she-cat.

"Why? Why were you exiled?"

The rogue laughed again. "For saving my family. She disobeyed orders. I went in her stead, at the cost of my daughter. A fair trade, hmm? Now, kill me and get over with it!"

"…I'm sorry…" Ravenpaw whispered. Her claws slid cleanly into the rogue's neck. She shoved the she-cat into the stream. She heard her whisper faintly as she died-Ravenpaw had no idea what.

The sun gleamed, catching the light as Hailstar led Ravenpaw away silently.

She looked back only once.


End file.
